sunrise comes too soon

so here i am. middle of the night. fourth night in a row and i cannot force myself to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. so i’m trying to revise psychology, watching videos on Youtube and eating microwaved Cadbury chocolate spread.

life is alright at the moment. i’ve had my maths exam and now i’m preparing for psychology next week. apart from that i’m struggling to stay awake and alert in lessons – but that’s not unusual.

i am also acting as a relationship clinic/matchmaker/listener to DRAMA. ahh drama drama drama… the joy. it is however very entertaining just listening to it. but truly i’m gonna be glad when them two get together.

only a few weeks left until half term. and then i can finally get some rest. and maybe regulate my sleeping patterns. that would be slightly useful.

i was lonely now you make me feel alive

we’d share each other like an island.

i love iTunes shuffle. recently i came across one of my favourite songs – Set the fire to the third bar by Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright. it’s such a wonderfull song and Martha’s voice is truly amazing. also, it brings back memories of last year.

i realised i really was neglecting some people lately. i feel quite bad about that. sorry.

christmas is in ten days. i’m going home in two. still haven’t packed, my room is a mess. classic. but it’s great to go back home. especially for christmas.

i feel lonely…

just because i’m sorry doesn’t mean i didn’t enjoy it at the time.

always one foot on the ground

and by protecting my heart truely i got lost in the sounds
i hear in my mind all these voices
i hear in my mind all these words
i hear in my mind all this music
and it breaks my heart

lately i am obsessed with Regina Spektor. She has the most amazing voice ever. and her songs have an unusual tune to them. brilliant.

also, i am in love with the view from my window. right at the end of the school – it’s already dark. and it’s full moon. beautiful.

apart from that, i am totally confused. but that’s normal.

It’s like forgetting the words to your favorite song
You can’t believe it you were always singing along
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can’t remember you try to feel the beat

when the lights all shine like i knew they would

wow i haven’t been here for a while. keep forgetting i actually have a blog.

nothing to interesting happened lately. I’m done with my UCAS – sent it off. Half term is comming soon which i’m rather happy about. I haven’t been home for a while now. i somehow started to miss it.

I went out last nigh. it was rather crazy. i ended up taking care of people who can’t handle drinking. I feel so mature in those moments. but overall it wasn’t too bad. had a good time. now i’m really tired – even though it’s 4.30 p.m. and i slept for the past 6 hours.

tonight we have a Dwali evening which means i have to try and stay awake for a few hours looking like i’m extremally happy to be here.  yet isn’t that something one always has to do.

righ, i need to do some work now.

make it go away, or make it better. isn’t that what love’s supposed to do?

and i feel like taking off.

Sorry for my absence. I’m drowning under the amount of work i have. Why didn’t anyone warn me A2 was so hard. I have a free now. since it’s 9 in the morning don’t expect me to do anything productive. I’ve just spent an hour of my life listening to music. classic.  but to be honest i have no idea how some people managed to keep up their grades and have some sort of social life last year.

apart from that i really can’t wait for the UCAS process to be over. life will be so much easier. Personal statement is my biggest enemy at the moment and to make it worse my teacher lost my 4th draft again. what a disorganised person…

I just realised i don’t go for walks anymore. too much work i suppose. still i think i should do that again. it was a rather healthy habit.

Well, i have to go now: RE, double psychology and double maths. And DELF to top it up. and i think to myself what a wonderful world.

depressing music.

is something i should really stay away from. And of course something i’m listening to right now.

I’m back in school now. And it really hit me right in the face. I already have work to do – mainly maths and psychology. And the beautiful personal statement. First draft in by monday.

Today is the boarders induction weekend. joy of heavens. Because we all really want to be there.

And hooray for realising a guy i like doesn’t really care about me. as always really. story of my life, eh?

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly. And the dreams you dare to dream really do come true. And i think to myself, what a wonderfull world.

lack of time.

hello there. i know i haven’t been updating for AGES. but i really don’t have time for anything at the moment. 

school starts in less than a week and i seem to have more and more health issues. it all started with the usual visit in the clinic – just three days of my life of doing nothing – staring at a wall, sleeping, eating and talking to other people around. then, a day after i came back (and about three loads of laundry) i had another visit – this time a neurologist (or however you’re supposed to spell that). then on monday a one-day visit in a hospital – laryngologist. oh no sorry that was two laryngologists later. and after all that an ENG which is by far the most unpleasant thing i ever experienced. The good thing is though it seems that i’m done. for now at least.

I also have tones of other things to do – mainly connected with getting ready for school (personal statement – haven’t even started, psychology assignment – work in progress, packing – deffinately work in progress, and the list goes on) as well as leaving my house for a few months (cleaning up my room, sorting out some old stuff). And there also is crazy amounts of people who randomly realised i still existed and that they would love to see me some time soon.

Oh and there is one more thing. my TOEFL exam, saturday morning, which i haven’t been preparing to much for the past few weeks. Thus right now, along with total panic i am also trying to review my notes.

hmm anything else?? well of course. i have a meeting with my headmistress of my old school concerning my exam results and a few projects i have to finish (preferably by the end of october) to close my education in Poland. Oh and did i mention the projects are on my least favourite subjects? joy of heavens to earth come down.

Which reminds me! My chapel duty next school year. this will be fun…

surrounded by a million people i still feel alone.

kindness is contageous. pass it on.

I can’t believe i’m leaving in a few days. i’m really not ready to go. i made a few great friends over the past weeks. it’s really hard to stop thinking that i’ll probably never see them again. i hate that. but a part of me knows i’ll somehow manage. just as i did before. it’s possible. it just really hurts. Also, i won’t see my best friend again for a whole entire year. at least they invented e-mail and facebook.

This holiday i also managed to take a few pictures. So please go to http://picasaweb.google.pl/martawe to check them out.

Apart from that, nothing new. still doing my TOEFL course, finishing on thursday. i’ll be taking the exam at the end of August. The course was so much fun. i loved it. my class was real nice and my techer was like the best one i ever had. probably the most energetic person i’ve ever met.

i think only here you can have the weirdest conversations with some random people you don’t even know. but i love them. a few weeks ago i had a conversation with a guy in Borders about listening and people in general. today i had another one about twilight with a guy in Van Hausen. i love the kind of strange connection you have with that person. the sad thing again is that you’ll never see them again.

anyway, commit random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

I pray that someting pics me up and sets me down in your warm arms

hello again!

i’m still not very sure how to upload pictures on here (but that’s normal for me). so it’s an attempt to do that. and i think it kinda worked!

washington (state) was fun, great weather, took quite a bit of pictures. very good time.

i’m back now, working on my psychology experiment. also i have to do the reading for my next year classes and the university. it’s all just so lovely.

Been treated to a few hours of Gombrowicz’s book Trans Atlantic on audio book. that was the biggest pain in my life. deffinately NOT a book one should (or rather could if one is sane) read. Well, aparently it was translated into English, so if you really want to… the language in this book is painful for my brain.

new update and a shocking info! my mom officially has facebook since yesterday. Oh my god! this is going to be interesting…

you’re so busy changing the world. with just one smile you change all of mine.

when i first met you i knew you were the one.

Hello.

this will be a VERY short post since i’m going to Seattle in like 20 minutes. I’ll be back sunday and i’ll try to post some pictures then if i manage to understand these damn settings.

Apart from that, nothing special. i’m going to “school”, trying to sort out my psychology assignment, spending way too much time on the internet and significantly less by the pool. Thus i’m still pretty pale looking as if i spent the holiday on the North Pole instead of LAs Vegas.

Give me the reason to fall in love.  well i would need it. to know why i actually pack myself into so much trouble.